Night Fears in Preschool Aged Children

As a pediatric sleep consultant, some of the most common concerns I hear from parents of preschool-aged children is, "My child wakes up screaming at night, and I don’t know what to do!” and "My child says they are scared tog o to bed alone."

These episodes can be alarming and exhausting—not just for your child, but for you, too. The good news? You're not alone, and there is a difference between typical night fears and something more intense like night terrors. Understanding the difference is the first step to helping your child—and reclaiming some rest for yourself.

What Are Night Fears?

Night fears, such as fear of the dark, monsters under the bed, or being alone, are extremely common in children ages 3 to 5. This is the age when imagination really begins to flourish—and with it, a child’s ability to worry about imaginary threats.

Signs of night fears:

• Your child resists bedtime or asks for multiple check-ins

• They say they’re scared or cry when left alone

• They may have trouble falling asleep without reassurance

• They may wake up and come to your room seeking comfort

What you can do:

• Validate their fear without reinforcing it. Say, “I know you feel scared, and I’m here to help you feel safe,” instead of “There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

• Use nightlights wisely. A soft, warm nightlight can help soothe—but avoid bright lights that might disrupt melatonin production.

  • Some families find the use of red light as a night light to be effective as well.

• Stick to a calming bedtime routine. Consistent routines help preschoolers feel secure.

• Avoid scary media. Even cartoons can spark big fears in little brains.

• Consider a “magic spray” or stuffed animal protector. These give children a sense of control and comfort.

• Use story time or use of books to provide comfort. Opt for story time to be geared towards a character conquering a night fear similar to what your child has voiced- throw in a little humor along the way for added entertainment! If story telling is not for you, there are plenty of short stories related to night fears that can ease your child's worries consider these recommendations:

  • Goodnight,You by Geneviève Côté

  • I Can Sleep Alone By Frank J. Mah

Night fears typically fade with time, especially with support and consistency. But what if your child’s nighttime episodes are more dramatic?

What Are Night Terrors?

Night terrors are very different from nightmares—and even more bewildering for parents. They occur during deep non-REM sleep (usually within the first few hours after bedtime) and are a type of parasomnia—a disruption during transitions between sleep stages.

Signs of night terrors:

• Your child bolts upright, screaming or crying inconsolably

• They may thrash, sweat, have a racing heart, or look terrified

• They are unresponsive to comfort and may not recognize you, they may even have their eyes open during this

• The episode lasts 5–30 minutes

• They fall back asleep with no memory of the event the next morning

What causes them?Night terrors are often triggered by:

• Overtiredness or irregular sleep schedules

• Fever or illness

• Diet- a frequent diet high in sugars and artificial dyes close to bed time over a period of time can have adverse affects on behavior and sleep patterns

• Stress or separation anxiety

• A family history of parasomnias (like sleepwalking or terrors)

What you can do:

• Don’t try to wake your child. This can increase confusion and prolong the episode.

  • Refrain from holding your child as they are likely to fight you off, instead you can try gentle pats or calming Shh-ing.

• Ensure their safety. Remove objects that could cause injury, and gently guide them if they’re moving.

• Keep a sleep log. Note patterns and see if there’s a consistent time the terrors occur.

• Prioritize good sleep hygiene. Make sure your child is getting enough rest during the day and going to bed on time. Avoid reaching an overtired state and ensure a calm bedtime routine.

• Talk to your pediatrician or a sleep specialist. If terrors are frequent or disruptive, they may need further evaluation.

What are Nightmares?

Nightmares more closely relate to a disturbance in REM sleep that relate to a night fear such as a scary image (monsters are common) or upset nature due to a shadow or the dark. The child can recall some aspects of this and call recite details the next morning which differs greatly from night terrors. Fortunately, nightmares are easily handled with comfort and support. A child can easily be awakened and calmed down as needed. It is common between the ages of 3-5 years old for these to occasionally occur but it is advised to notify a pediatrician if they become very frequent.

What you can do:

• Provide comfort either physical or verbal to calm your child and provide reassurance

• TALK ABOUT IT! At the prime age for imagination and curiosity, it is best to talk about night fear and nightmares head on. Address fictional things and reassure safety.

• Cue the books and story time to combat night fears that may be associated with these nightmares- turn a scary experience into a fun, teachable moment.

Final Thoughts

Preschoolers are navigating huge developmental leaps—emotionally, socially, and cognitively. It's no surprise that sleep can sometimes become a battleground. By understanding what’s normal and what needs extra support, you can respond with confidence and compassion.

It is important to note, sleep disruptions aren’t a reflection of your parenting—they’re simply part of your child’s growing brain learning how to rest.

Sweet dreams are possible—sometimes, they just need a little support.

©2025 Sleep Sound LLC