Praise As A Sleep Motivator.

alexaforesta21
Jan 23
4 min read

Incorporating praise into sleep training is an excellent method to foster positive connections with bedtime and to support your child in feeling assured and encouraged throughout the process. Here are some strategies you can employ:

1. Praise Before Bedtime

Set Expectations: Before starting the sleep training process, talk to your child about what to expect in a positive and encouraging way. For example, “Tonight, we’re going to work on falling asleep on our own, and I know you can do it!”
Encourage Calmness: Give compliments for remaining calm or adhering to a soothing bedtime routine, such as reading a story or brushing teeth. “You brushed your teeth so well! I’m proud of how calm you are.”

2. Praise During Sleep Training

Acknowledge Small Wins: Even if they’re not fully sleep trained yet, praise moments when they make progress, like settling down in their crib or bed or trying to self-soothe. “You did so well staying in your bed! You’re really trying hard.” -This is always a great one to try following a nap to encourage replicated behavior at night time.
Be Specific With Praise: This is so they understand what they’re being recognized for. For example, “I saw how you tried to settle down by yourself—that’s really impressive!”

3. Praise After a Good Night’s Sleep

Celebrate Successes: When your child wakes up in the morning after a successful night, reinforce the positive outcome. “You did such a great job falling asleep on your own last night! Look how rested you are!”
Use It as Motivation: Use positive reinforcement to motivate them for the next night. “I know you can do it again tonight because you’re becoming such a great sleeper!”

4. Praise for Resilience

Sleep training can be challenging, so it’s important to praise your child for their efforts and resilience. If they wake up in the middle of the night or struggle for a bit, acknowledge their attempt to return to sleep on their own. “I know it’s tough, but I’m proud of you for trying to go back to sleep by yourself!”
- This is where it is super important to try to mask your frustration. We want to keep the sleep environment a safe, calm and comfortable place. Replace negative thoughts with positive words of encouragement.
  - Instead of "You need to stay in your bed and stop crying, it's lights out time". Try utilizing something that will foster a safe place such as "It's time to go to sleep, lets tuck you in and give me one last hug- you're going to do great sleeping in your big girl bed tonight!"

5. Spread the News

When progress is made, share the news to those outside of the household. Whether this be making a special call to the grandparents or friends, brag on how well they are doing!

By pairing praise with consistent routines and gentle guidance, sleep training can feel like a positive, rewarding experience for your child.

Why Does Giving Praise Work?

1. Positive Reinforcement (Operant Conditioning)

Encourages Desired Behavior: Praise serves as a form of positive reinforcement, which is a core principle in behavior psychology. When kids are praised for behaviors you want to encourage (like self-soothing or staying in their bed), they’re more likely to repeat those behaviors because they associate them with positive outcomes (i.e., praise).

2. Building Confidence and Independence

Empowerment: Praise fosters a sense of achievement and independence in kids. When they receive recognition for taking steps toward falling asleep on their own, they feel more capable and confident in their ability to manage sleep.
Self-Efficacy: When children repeatedly succeed, even in small ways, at falling asleep or calming themselves, their confidence in their ability to do it again grows. This enhances their self-efficacy, which is their belief in their capacity to complete tasks on their own.

3. Positive Associations

Creating a Calm, Positive Environment: When praise is linked to sleep routines, it helps to create a positive association with bedtime. Kids will begin to see bedtime as something that comes with recognition and warmth, which makes them more comfortable with it. Over time, this can reduce anxiety or resistance to going to bed.

4. Motivation

Intrinsic Motivation: Praise engages a child's intrinsic motivation—their inherent wish to succeed and earn approval from caregivers. When a child receives positive feedback, they are encouraged to repeat the behavior that was praised, which, in this context, relates to sleep behavior.

5. Emotional Bonding

Connection with Caregiver: Praise builds a positive emotional connection between the child and the caregiver. When a parent or caregiver acknowledges their child’s effort, it deepens the trust and security the child feels. This can help reduce sleep anxiety, making the child feel safe and supported as they fall asleep.

6. Emotional Regulation

Helping With Emotional Control: Sleep training is sometimes an emotional process for both kids and parents. Praise helps kids feel supported in regulating their emotions. For example, a child may feel frustrated when they can’t fall asleep right away, but praise for calming themselves down or trying again helps them develop emotional resilience and learn how to manage those feelings.

In essence, praise works in sleep training because it promotes positive behavior, creates a more enjoyable bedtime experience, builds confidence, and strengthens the relationship between parent and child. It helps make sleep training feel less like a chore and more like a series of achievable, rewarding milestones.